It hasn't been a very good couple of months. Making a decision to finish my masters in 3 semesters not 4 made for an incredibly stressful final semester.  A month into the semester Hiro's brother went missing, and was found dead a month after that.  A week in Akita for the funeral and another week for New Year ... trying to navigate the complexities of the situation ... took its toll... the benevolence of my professors meant an extra week and a bit to get assignments in beyond the end of the term.  I went back to Aus feeling totally burned out but with a  sigh of relief - prematurely. Syllabi for this year's teaching had to be written and uploaded in their final version  three days after I got home - I had a thought that was the deadline for the draft version. Rush to finish .... in.  Then my favourite uncle in Tokyo, who has been so good to me had a stroke followed by the spouses of two good friends in Tokyo dying from cancer. It  was good to be with family - with a lack of cheerful things to say I didn't look up most of my friends.  I regret that I wasn't able to attend the funerals.

I have just come back from seeing ojisan in the hospital now. Sometimes Japan makes me so mad I can't bear it.  I know it's not Japan, it's the Japan I live in.   I took an ipad with enka and photos  and pictures, I was stupid to go in the afternoon when Hiro's aunt was there.  Although nice lady but she doesn't do anything that is not explicitly the doctors orders.  Music, photos, talking ... mada mada mada....   How can you ever recover from a stroke if you don't get stimulation.  He understands what is being said.  He just can't move or communicate verbally.  He'll never improve if people don't talk to him directly in stimulating conversation.  He's intensely political with a keen interest in current affairs. She has no interest in politics or that kind of conversation.  She told me visiting was meiwaku to other people in the room, so it is better not to come unless she asks me.

I am so upset I will leave it at that.